I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize