You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
