Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
