Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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