i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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