If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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