Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I am available for nakedness
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
