omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
