38 yer olds are good kisserssss
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
