what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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