Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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