One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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