That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
