I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
