I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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