worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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