you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
