I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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