fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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