This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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