I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
