it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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