I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
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