During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Im part way to drunk.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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