This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
