I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
