I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Found your dick twin last night
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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