the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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