my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
