At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
