how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
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