Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize