its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I pour the whiskey from now on
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize