Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
