I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
