I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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