There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize