Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
