i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
