Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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