i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
