I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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