I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
