i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
