It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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