You're a womanizer and a bitch.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
