Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
