Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
