She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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