Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
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