when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
