forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
