the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
