Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
