Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
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That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
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I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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